It truly is a cliche when people say that leaders are born, and are not made. I remember my friends telling me that I can own up and do great things. But I always refute, and disagree with gusto. Although I've always been a leader at school and what could be the formative years of my life, I always see myself as a greater follower. Who would have thought that they saw a potential in me that I still couldn't see for myself.
I just got promoted from work. It wasn't a shock, but at that moment, I was still afraid and unsure of what life has instore for me. It felt like I am assuming a role beyond my life years. Leading a six-man team isn't something I thought would happen to me at 26. Well, I sure think a lot of people weren't particularly a fan of the same thought, too. I do not know how I managed to hide this uncertainty while I was applying for the position, let alone now that I am leading people at work.
I guess the dilemma is that I always second-guess myself now that I am part of a bigger picture, and I still draw to wonder why. Maybe it has something to do with change, and that people will always count on what I can do best. Maybe it goes with the pressure to help people love their work and relive their passion. Maybe it's because of all the skills that I need to learn and I know could only be taught by experience alone--and experience, my friend, isn't on my side at the moment.
So I lurked along the walls and sides of the Internet to try and help myself, like I always do. I read quotes, essays or inspirational thoughts that keep me sane and hopeful of the times to come. And what not, I stumbled upon a quote from the great Abe Lincoln: "Whatever you are, be a good one."
After adding it to my self notes for the year, I thought to myself, 'The heck with the dramas of being a good boss or a better team player or the what not's. From now on, I will just be me. I will not let anything get into me just because I am too engrossed in caring about disappointing people. I will care more about not letting me disappoint myself.'
