Multiplying me

I have a lot of personalities, and they are categorised by the roles I play, in summation. Being a woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a boss, a writer, a wife and a mom are among the few. Each category (although interconnected) is, at a certain point, quite different from the other.  Of my many roles in life, three of them can best describe my whole existence: my being a daughter, a wife and a mom.

Being a daughter is something I really enjoy. I don't usually get things done my way but I loved how my parents treated me while growing up. See, I was a really diligent kid. I did my part of the bargain. I did good in school and took responsibilities for my actions. But I am no model kid. I used to make bad decisions (like most teens do) because I thought those years were meant for experimenting; for surpassing limits. I was scolded, frowned upon and grounded numerous times. I had to learn things the hard way. I became a stronger, independent woman because my parents taught me how to be one. And I thank them tremendously.

Being a wife is something I am really passionate about. I dreamt of being the perfect partner -- the one we always read about in novels, and sometimes, in fairy tales, too. I always wished to be the domesticated woman who takes care of her husband beyond limits. But I am far from being domesticated. Although I try to be, everyday.

Being a mom is something I look forward to become. I want to be the mom that earns the respect and love of her children. I want to be just a step behind them, not substituting presents for presence. I want to be the one they depend on because I am strong and ever-constant. I want to be the one to teach them the basics; that life rocks, and sucks at the same time. I wish to be their friend, if not their best one.

Among the three, being a mom is where I need to be the best version of myself. It's something I work hard on everyday for fear of failing to be great, let alone be a good one.

So this goes out to X, my first born, and to my children who are yet to be born:
Please know that I will try to be your light at the end of the tunnel. I might not be beside you in every turn, but I'll be at your back to catch you should you fall. I may not perfect the cookery, but there's Dad to fix what's burnt (hehehe) Kidding aside, I wish that you'll always allow me to be a part of your tomorrows. I will never be too far for you to reach because you may let go of my hand, but you will always have my heart with you.  Above all, please know that I will forever be grateful that God brought you to my life and under any circumstance, I will love you beyond the boundaries of space or time.

Of hiatuses and junctions

After a year and a half of hiatus, I am writing back words, fragments, sentences... while remembering mental notes of the year that passed and the moments that were left untold -- some kept me calm and a whole lot of which left me breathless.

2013 was one of the best years of my life. For starters, I got married and conceived a baby. And after nine amazing months of carrying a bulging tummy, on a sunny day of February 2014, an angel in the name of Xiel David zigzagged his way into our lives. Hurray to womanhood and parenthood at the same time!

Of course, the journey wasn't a fairytale. I went through a series of bumps: bankruptcy (thanks to my extravagant wedding :)), postpartum (myth confirmed), midlife crisis. I initially thought I was well-prepared for adulthood only to be proven wrong.  I rushed things because it felt right at that time. Nothing really prepares you for a life of responsibility but experience. Now, I know better.

I am now officially saying goodbye to singlehood. No to late night work at the office, to unplanned dinner dates with friends, and to surprise movie dates with hubby. Rather, I say hello to sleepless nights, to midnight feedings and burping, to diaper leaks and baby baths.

So here's the best photo of my family. You all know my husband. He's been the subject of my numerous posts here. So let me introduce you to my son, X. (from hereon, my posts might be all about him, as he is the subject of all my musings these days).

Rockin' February

Love month has officially ended. I am extremely grateful for what & who God had brought in my life. I was never a fan of luxuriousness, but I love how my birthday turned out this year. I had more than I could chew, literally. It seemed like a food fest to me. From chocolate fondues, to hot pizzas, bilao of spaghetti, tasteful lumpiang shanghai's, gallons of ice cream... I felt like I was celebrating my first birthday (if this isn't what a first birthday felt, I don't know how to categorize it).

Thank you Lord for good friends...

...and good love.

I know life doesn't usually stop for moments like this, but mine usually pauses for THIS. And there's not much to really ask for, except more years. 

Utensil alternative

This is me, attempting to learn how to use chopsticks (with a little help from this blue bunny).

Why my boss could be better than yours?

I have never, even in my wildest thoughts, seen this coming. I am awarded this book because I have a great boss who thinks I can do better at writing, and knows that I am destined for it, some other time or lifetime, maybe.

Side note: Workbooks are fun, indeed,

Level 25+

Turning twenty five wasn't really that big of a deal, not even close to being in high spirits for me too. Expectations do let you down. I wonder whoever made up that word to describe such a horrible feeling that sums up undesirable results most of the time. So, yes, in a shorter term, my birthday sucked. But misery had not stopped me from believing that there are greater things ahead, that my happiness is my own and should not be defined by others, nor should it be dependent to someone other than myself.

So amidst all the crises, PMSing, and an earthquake scare, I decided to do something remarkable, just to up the ante.

Remarkable and upping the ante = kite flying. Meet our kite, Matanglawin.

Now look who's also enjoying.

Side note: Another crossed-out item on my list. Hurrah!

Who's the happy camper?

Life would never have been this fairytale-like if not for this Prince Charming/Bike Wizard/Bowling Buddy all-in-one.

Happy Valentines Jammy!^_^

Life is just a bowl of cherries!

Current mood: Grateful ^_^

Living proof: I have this goofy fur ball to come home to.