It's never too late to say 'Thank You'

Jenna,

I thank you for trying to be such a grown-up now, although you fail sometimes. But that didn't stop you to make all things shine bright and beautiful. You stayed, held on, and wandered in a world which pulled you down when you were soaring; which dragged you into so many aches, like you haven't had enough yet.

Thank you for still believing that life's a lot bitchier than you, and that you're wise enough to act indifferent to it.

Thank you for remembering to fall in love and for acknowledging what love has done for you.

Thank you for waking me up whenever I need a little shaking, for dodging me when I'm stubborn and unbecoming.

Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone, no matter how I always feel like I am. You were always there to keep me a little sane. You were always just a step behind, if not beside.

Thank you for being kind, enough to convince life that you deserve friends. And these friends are thankful and believes that they deserve you, too, at least that's how I feel about you.

Thank you for still standing up for your virtues, no matter how bended they are now.

Thank you for being sensible whenever my thoughts are barred or sheered by things that were never necessary. Thank you for arguing with me, and for inviting competition.

Thank you for understanding that I am not perfect, nor are you.

Thank you for wanting to be Me, and You. Thank you for thanking Me for being You.

Loads of love,
Jenna

Birthday poem for Minapot

My first poem for the year. Happy birthday, Sis!

Why my boss could be better than yours?

I have never, even in my wildest thoughts, seen this coming. I am awarded this book because I have a great boss who thinks I can do better at writing, and knows that I am destined for it, some other time or lifetime, maybe.

Side note: Workbooks are fun, indeed,

AJ - n. friend and sister

I've known her pretty damn well back then. We've shared most of everything we had for a whole year. Bed, pillows, blankets. Laughters, tears, heartaches. Birthdays, Valentine's, and some holidays. Yes, a year of extraordinary friendship, sisterhood and all the stuffs that come in between.

She's one of the craziest and coolest girl I know who didn't mind spending over stationaries and inks just so I could get a note everyday. EVERYDAY. She hardly said a word about that being too demanding of me. Although she didn't have much to say, she kept all the notes coming, just because I love them.

And here are just some of the love she sent my way:

And this is our own alphabet, yes, we're crazy like that.

Sadly, I couldn't read our brilliant little conversation here. This must be amnesia. Tsk.

#

She was my bestest, and somewhere in this great big unpredictable world, I lost her. It might sound like an overstatement, but my heart bled for missing, for wanting, for needing - her. Yet, she wasn't there. And I wasn't there for her just the same.

We grew apart. I was devastated. I think we both were.  She never came back. I was dumb enough not to get her back. Not to write her letters, not to visit her in Zambales, not to call her as often as I could, not to do anything that would have eased the pain from a part of me that died, a part that had always been left out, and was left empty for only her to occupy.

When someone dear to me died, I wished for her to be there. I needed her to be there. I couldn't even remember if I called her, or asked her to come to my rescue. Maybe it was my fault, I haven't told her that I felt lost and alone without her.

She got married, and it ached, me not being a part of it. Not long after, she gave birth to a baby girl, and I wasn't at her side either, to offer a congratulations, to share with her joy, to ask her if it had been really difficult, or what it felt like to finally be a mom.

I had my chance to ask her and tell her all those when she asked me to be a godmom, but I dind't have the extra time, nor the resources to pull of a Manila-Zambales stunt. And I regret not having to make a way for that.

#

After six years, it still doesn't feel quite right. She was the closest I've come to having a sister, and she still is. And I will build back our bridge now. I'm going to write her letters, call her just because. Maybe we won't have the same commitment to friendship, but I'll love it [friendship] no matter what. And this time, I'm not letting go even if I have to. 'Cause she may not be my best friend anymore, but she's my sister by heart, and I love her like that.

Side note: Would love to put a picture of us together, but there aren't any. Why we haven't had a picture together, I don't know. Those days weren't the time of the digital camera craze. What a waste.