To fear needing

While I was trying to past the time while waiting for you, this is what the odds made me read. And somehow, a speck of my whole being wanted to believe that this could possibly apply to me:

                "Don't be a woman who needs a man...

As much as I love living co-dependently, I fear needing. I fear it more than I do eight-legged freaks. I think "needing" someone is my greatest fear because whenever I need you, I expect more from you, and there's no fun in that. Sometimes I deceive myself by trying not to need you, and end up in the "morbidest" form of solitude. Without needing you, I sometimes feel I can self-destruct.

                  ....Be a woman a man needs!"

Somehow I wish you need me too, in the same intensity that I do you. And I know I must be a fool to believe that two people can be equally passionate about two different things, but I guess I just needed some affirmation that you do (if you're there) or may (eventually) need me in a certain degree. Not that I don't feel that you need me too, sometimes, it's just different if you'll say "I need you."

Side notes: This "hormonal imbalance" thing we women have is really getting into me. 

--o0o--

The morning after this post was written, a friend texted me this:

 Fearlessness - Knowing that you are an instrument in the hands of God and that He is in control. Fear always relates to the future.But always remember that when you get there, God will be there. He says "Stop worrying. Stop being afraid."

And that made all the difference.