Self-loathing

I love quotes. I take inspiration from them, and apply them to my life whenever necessary. Today, I chance upon reading an excerpt of this on my friend's Facebook status. I craved for more and decided to look upon the whole poem instead.

After a While by Veronica Shoffstall

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

I wish that it is as easy as it sounds to hug yourself, or to give yourself a reassuring kiss, a pretty compliment, an unexpected tap on the back. If it were, then my world could really melt on its own, not depending on anything or anyone to define or bring it happiness.

So I'll try to do just that by making this affirmation:

This is me hugging and kissing myself, jabbing in some compliments and unexpected taps on the back. This is me melting my own world, one that revolves around people I love, but mostly out of me. Yes, ME.